The Unwritten Rules of college

 Dear Readers, 

Since summer has come to an end and the fall semester has officially started, I know there are so many incoming freshmen who are probably just as scared as I was on my first day of college. Before I start, I want to mention that I attend a predominantly white institution (PWI), so some of my experiences may be different from someone attending an HBCU, community college, or another type of university. Ultimately, I just want to share some of the advice and lessons I wish someone had told me before I started college on my own.

1. You are not required to become besties with your roommates!

During my freshman year, I had a roommate who wasn't typically someone I would choose to surround myself with. Going into college without knowing anyone, I was completely open to building a friendship. We hung out several times, but I eventually realized that while we could be respectful roommates, we didn't have to be close friends.

As I met more people throughout the semester, I naturally found my own friends. Looking back, I realized a lot of freshmen go into college believing that roommate = best friend. While that definitely happens for some people, it doesn't happen for everyone and that's completely okay.

2. It's perfectly fine to go to the dining hall alone.

When I first started my freshman year, I was extremely terrified of going to the dining hall alone. I would go right before closing or at random times because I didn't want it to seem like I had no friends and was eating by myself. Until the end of my freshman year, I realized no one was even paying attention to me. Everyone was focused on the food they were getting and where they wanted to go afterward.

After I realized that I wasn't the main focus and was just a side character in their dining hall experience, everything changed. Ever since then, when my sophomore year hit, I had no problem tearing up that dining hall food alone or with others. Either way, the anxiety of doing things alone isn't necessary because everyone else is focused on themselves just as much as you are.

3. There's no specific timeline you must follow

It's completely okay to go to college without knowing exactly what you want to do. It's okay to change your major or try different classes that aren't in your major. There's no specific schedule you need to be on to know you're being successful. Everyone has their own path, and that takes time.

Now, there are times when your friends are doing things that you aren't, and it may trigger some anxiety, making you wonder, What if I'm not on track? or Am I behind? The answer is always no because your journey is yours, and you make the best of it. If you know you're putting in the work to get the life you want, who cares how long it takes? So, if you're going to college without a specific major or career in mind, that's okay. But that doesn't mean you should go through your college years without a clue. Take the time to explore and figure out the path that's right for you.

Going into college, I used to believe you needed to know exactly what you wanted to do before you even got there because I knew what I wanted to do, which was become a veterinarian. That immediately changed when I had a professor for my Animals and Society class. She told us she spent six years in undergrad because she kept changing her mind. She said that these decisions can influence your career options, how much money you make, and ultimately the lifestyle you live.

That conversation made me realize you can go into college with the perfect plan, and it still may not end up being the career that's right for you. Personally, I haven't changed my career path, but I did choose a major that gives me endless career options because I know I want to work in a science-based field. Right now, that career is veterinary medicine, but you never know what the rest of your college experience may hold.

4. Go to events on campus

One thing I regret was not being as active on campus as I could have been. Honestly, I was so nervous to go to events that I just didn't go, which caused me to be so late to making friends. It can be very scary to go to new events, but just go! You will meet so many people, and it will help you get your face out there. Eventually, people may even start coming up to you and becoming your friends.

5. Keep a lot of your business to yourself

Now, you may think everyone you meet is your friend... but they aren't! I am an oversharer here and there, and I stopped that very quickly when I heard specific information that I told someone being told back to me.

If there is personal information you want to share with someone, sometimes it is better to write it down or tell someone you truly trust. Personally, I tell my mom because I refuse to have my personal business become a topic of conversation for someone else again.

6. Not everyone will get that college love story

There will be times when you find someone who is extremely attractive, and you think, "That's going to be my man, girlfriend, or whatever you're into." But remember, not everyone is in college looking for love.

Some people are there to see how many people they can talk to and never even mention the word commitment. There will be times when you hear that the person you are talking to or messing with is seeing someone else while still talking to you. To be honest, it will hurt if you really like them, but do not go into college expecting to find love because not everyone will have the same intentions as you, especially those athletes.

7. Don't get into the habit of skipping class

Speaking from personal experience, don't skip class. You are wasting so much money that your parents or whoever pays your tuition are spending. You also signed yourself up for the commitment of the schedule you chose, and once you start skipping, it becomes extremely hard to quit.

Love Always, 

Mya